That “Simple” Tension

Once again, I find myself sitting on the carpet floor in our family room surrounded by piles of clothes, empty suitcases, and books. The choas of the packing process doesn’t overwhelm me like it used to. Having packed up and moved so many times in the past few years, I no longer anxiously question whether all of that will fit into all of those, and I know that once it does, it will miraculously weigh less than the 50 pound baggage limit that my airline requires.

What are unnerving, however, are the lingering questions of simple, ethical living that take the forefront of my mind whenever I find myself on the living room floor folding t-shirts and stuffing shoes into empty suitcase corners again: “How in the world did I acquire so many things?  I had completely forgotten about that pair of sandals–why am I packing them? And why did I buy them in the first place?  Why didn’t I use that money for other things–for other people? People with greater needs?”

It’s not just when I’m packing that I am confronted with these doubting questions.  They merely sound louder in my mind when I have to pack, and subsequently face all my stuff at once. These questions sound when I spend time with the poor, when I buy my $3 latte, when I read the gospels, when I talk with the “Save the Children” rep outside the bookstore, when I pay my monthly credit card bill….  These are the tense questions that every mindful member of the Economically Privileged must grapple with at one point or another.

Burdened by the guilt that so easily creeps into these honest inquiries, I used to seek a clear-cut prescriptive for simplicity. I wanted to pick up a book, or listen to a sermon,or happen upon some conversation that would reveal exactly how to give, spend, and save my money and belongings in an ethical way. I keep reading, listening, and sharing, but I have come to the conclusion that I will not find the formulaic life-style prescription that I once sought. The tension that accompanies simple living in a privileged society simply is not that simple!  This realization has helped to free me from the unhelpful guilt I often face.  I am able to give myself a bit more grace, knowing that this is complicated to workout, even as I continue to recognize that it is an important tension to address and react to.

Community has been a great, productive aid in seeking simplicity. Just the other day, Kristy Calaway, a blogger at CTA’s Young Adult Catholics blog, wrote about the difficulty of simplicity as she packed up her belongings for a cross-country move like mine. It was encouraging, challenging, and inspiring to read a peer’s reflection on our common, complicated pursuit of simple living. When I share a meal, pick out an outfit for the day, or wander through the shopping mall alongside people who are also voicing questions about  ethical purchasing, excessive materialism, and common good, I am more honest with myself about how my relationship to money and things impacts who I am and the greater world around me.

So, from one inquirer to another, I would challenge you to take some time to grapple with the questions that arise from the complex tensions of simple living in our modern world. Your reflection, and your lives, will encourage me as I try to go on living a better, more ethical existence each day.

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